Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
