I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
barbara walters just said penis...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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