dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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