I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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