I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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