ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
