And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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