Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
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