ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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