Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
