So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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