The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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