It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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