He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
