My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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