That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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