I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
