After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
