It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
