So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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