Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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