Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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