U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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