My nipple is on Facebook.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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