and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize