We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I wear drunk well.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
