I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
