he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
