first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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