Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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