Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
