He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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