i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
