just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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