So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
