so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
ttyl tear gas
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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