I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I could fuck to npr.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
