This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
