i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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