I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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