I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
