After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It's official drugs can't kill me
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
