I just made out with a guy for $7.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
