in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
