Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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