omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
