im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
