3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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