The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
