you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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