god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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