Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
