Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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