I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
