I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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