His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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