and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
