i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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