I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
