That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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