I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I need to calm my uterus...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
