I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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